Be true to your heart, because your heart can tell you no lies, so goes one Disney song. It’s a premise that always makes for great telenovela.
Controversial drama “My Husband’s Lover” put a twist on things when it laid two beautiful men in the angst-ridden roles of lovers. Intrigue was the first lure for this show. Who’s gay and who’s not? Then later, it goes on to ponder the question of homosexuality. So what? An expert finally declares that it isn’t a disease. “Normal po ang inyong anak,” a doctor tells the closet gay man’s mother. “Tinatrato lang siyang abnormal ng mga taong nasa paligid nya.” [Your son is normal. It’s the people around him who consider him abnormal.]
Beyond sexual preferences, it is, bluntly, a love story. The title alone tells us there’s a lover, a husband, and of course, a wife. Cheekily, it alludes to a stark reality that no one really likes to entertain as much: that most times, you don’t always get to marry the love of your life.
To start with, there’s always been that false equivalence of “I love you, let’s get married”. That has been challenged many times. Why isn’t falling out of love a good ground for divorce? (Why isn’t there divorce in the Philippines??) Why do you need, to be called family, to get the same last name? Why do you need a last name at all? Tsk, the origin of the family is complex, so thank you Engels for a lovely explanation.
Many believe Vincent and Eric, star-crossed and tragic, were somehow meant to fall in love, but not to be together. The score stands at two points for Lally the wife – for the marriage, and for that time Vincent comes back to the house, saying he will “man up”. Two for Eric the kabit [paramour] – for the affair, and for last week’s poignant moment when Vincent says, “just wait for me, please”. But it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. This series is scheduled to end soon, and for those who are hooked it is a no-holds barred guessing game.
As Vincent wrestles with his inner demons and readies himself for the big reveal, it’s getting harder than ever to pin down a conclusion. Certainly, no one becomes fundamentally happy when infidelity is involved. It is, universally, a bad thing like breach of contract or a broken promise. But in this cast of conflicted characters, there are just too many people with the best intentions. All the parents will do anything for their children, and all the children just want to do the right thing. All of them a whole lot flawed, it’s easy to make a contravida out of any one.
For this all-too important choice of whom to choose, Vincent deserves a long break. Twitter has been ablaze with opinion and speculation, the chirping is left and right. Oftentimes it’s funny to read typecast reactions: You’re gay if you support Eric and Vincent. Bading ka din! [You’re gay too!] It’s flabbergasting however, when the moralists step in: You already have a family. You sin if you leave them.
The argument that the decision is clearly cut out either way because of gender or civil status is simply lazy. It’s like saying two people have to get married because they look good together. Most shows take the easy way out in love triangles by making one character crazy and deranged, or evil and violent. Or both. And/or he/she dies, leaving the choice pretty much obvious.
TV hasn’t been really inspired about giving us characters who can flesh out that classic torment. There have been no shows of the sort that absolutely compel alternative endings. But oh dear, don’t give us the types of “Sana’y Wala nang Wakas” [I Hope It Will Never End], where it was just a choice between two gorgeous men. The network lucratively took it out for the fans to resolve with votes.
“My Husband’s Lover” has the potential to show us what’s behind meaningful relationships. From the cheesy (and downright emasculating) “you complete me” to the thought-provoking “you make me want to be a better man”, there’s a ready answer to “why me”? “Because I love you” is a roundabout response to an otherwise rational question. It’s pointless, almost impertinent, and earnest but vague.
The best lines should imaginably figure in all those tiny personal details, all those soulful connections, those small pregnant pauses, and all that jazz. They come after a period of confusion and reflection, a time to acknowledge vulnerability, fragility, and betray a hint that anything can be possible. Very often the best decisions are made when the strong emotions have passed, when the tidal waves of anger, remorse and shame have washed the pain away. You’re left with reason, plus the indelible memories that remind you of what is it that’s worth fighting for – if not, then there’s your answer.
How long it takes to figure things out is another matter altogether. Vincent’s long drawn struggle with himself grates on many as a selfish, effeminate, or pathetic. Some nights it’s frustrating because this show is so wrapped up in itself, it forgets about everything else. There is no external conflict, no social realities, not even traffic, to disrupt its perfect little bubble. Even the rain pours in only to emphasize the weeping.
Nevertheless, it’s a marvelous, value-laden distraction before sleeping at night. It’s a gentle reminder that love is patient, love is kind. Oh God, make us meet our perfect match in life, appetite for appetite. Oh God, make us happy with the choices we’ve made. Oh God, how long should we keep listening to our hearts? Oh God, what now? We wait, until Vincent decides from a position of strength.
Original published on The Philippine Online Chronicles http://thepoc.net/poc-presents/poc-youth/19222-lessons-from-the-heartbreak-club-decide-from-a-position-of-strength
Controversial drama “My Husband’s Lover” put a twist on things when it laid two beautiful men in the angst-ridden roles of lovers. Intrigue was the first lure for this show. Who’s gay and who’s not? Then later, it goes on to ponder the question of homosexuality. So what? An expert finally declares that it isn’t a disease. “Normal po ang inyong anak,” a doctor tells the closet gay man’s mother. “Tinatrato lang siyang abnormal ng mga taong nasa paligid nya.” [Your son is normal. It’s the people around him who consider him abnormal.]
Beyond sexual preferences, it is, bluntly, a love story. The title alone tells us there’s a lover, a husband, and of course, a wife. Cheekily, it alludes to a stark reality that no one really likes to entertain as much: that most times, you don’t always get to marry the love of your life.
To start with, there’s always been that false equivalence of “I love you, let’s get married”. That has been challenged many times. Why isn’t falling out of love a good ground for divorce? (Why isn’t there divorce in the Philippines??) Why do you need, to be called family, to get the same last name? Why do you need a last name at all? Tsk, the origin of the family is complex, so thank you Engels for a lovely explanation.
Many believe Vincent and Eric, star-crossed and tragic, were somehow meant to fall in love, but not to be together. The score stands at two points for Lally the wife – for the marriage, and for that time Vincent comes back to the house, saying he will “man up”. Two for Eric the kabit [paramour] – for the affair, and for last week’s poignant moment when Vincent says, “just wait for me, please”. But it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. This series is scheduled to end soon, and for those who are hooked it is a no-holds barred guessing game.
As Vincent wrestles with his inner demons and readies himself for the big reveal, it’s getting harder than ever to pin down a conclusion. Certainly, no one becomes fundamentally happy when infidelity is involved. It is, universally, a bad thing like breach of contract or a broken promise. But in this cast of conflicted characters, there are just too many people with the best intentions. All the parents will do anything for their children, and all the children just want to do the right thing. All of them a whole lot flawed, it’s easy to make a contravida out of any one.
For this all-too important choice of whom to choose, Vincent deserves a long break. Twitter has been ablaze with opinion and speculation, the chirping is left and right. Oftentimes it’s funny to read typecast reactions: You’re gay if you support Eric and Vincent. Bading ka din! [You’re gay too!] It’s flabbergasting however, when the moralists step in: You already have a family. You sin if you leave them.
The argument that the decision is clearly cut out either way because of gender or civil status is simply lazy. It’s like saying two people have to get married because they look good together. Most shows take the easy way out in love triangles by making one character crazy and deranged, or evil and violent. Or both. And/or he/she dies, leaving the choice pretty much obvious.
TV hasn’t been really inspired about giving us characters who can flesh out that classic torment. There have been no shows of the sort that absolutely compel alternative endings. But oh dear, don’t give us the types of “Sana’y Wala nang Wakas” [I Hope It Will Never End], where it was just a choice between two gorgeous men. The network lucratively took it out for the fans to resolve with votes.
“My Husband’s Lover” has the potential to show us what’s behind meaningful relationships. From the cheesy (and downright emasculating) “you complete me” to the thought-provoking “you make me want to be a better man”, there’s a ready answer to “why me”? “Because I love you” is a roundabout response to an otherwise rational question. It’s pointless, almost impertinent, and earnest but vague.
The best lines should imaginably figure in all those tiny personal details, all those soulful connections, those small pregnant pauses, and all that jazz. They come after a period of confusion and reflection, a time to acknowledge vulnerability, fragility, and betray a hint that anything can be possible. Very often the best decisions are made when the strong emotions have passed, when the tidal waves of anger, remorse and shame have washed the pain away. You’re left with reason, plus the indelible memories that remind you of what is it that’s worth fighting for – if not, then there’s your answer.
How long it takes to figure things out is another matter altogether. Vincent’s long drawn struggle with himself grates on many as a selfish, effeminate, or pathetic. Some nights it’s frustrating because this show is so wrapped up in itself, it forgets about everything else. There is no external conflict, no social realities, not even traffic, to disrupt its perfect little bubble. Even the rain pours in only to emphasize the weeping.
Nevertheless, it’s a marvelous, value-laden distraction before sleeping at night. It’s a gentle reminder that love is patient, love is kind. Oh God, make us meet our perfect match in life, appetite for appetite. Oh God, make us happy with the choices we’ve made. Oh God, how long should we keep listening to our hearts? Oh God, what now? We wait, until Vincent decides from a position of strength.
Original published on The Philippine Online Chronicles http://thepoc.net/poc-presents/poc-youth/19222-lessons-from-the-heartbreak-club-decide-from-a-position-of-strength